At Thrivenest, we are big fans of social and emotional learning (SEL) concepts; that's why we started the company. All that being said, we find that many people have heard the word SEL, but have no idea what it actually entails. So what are the competencies of SEL? What are these students building that will be useful for the future?

In this article, we'll take you through some of the SEL competencies that students gain over time, and why they are so crucial to building a better, more plentiful future.

What are SEL competencies?

SEL competencies represent the knowledge, skills, and dispositions that students can develop as they become increasingly aware of themselves, regulate their emotions, form positive and healthy relationships, and develop decision-making processes to create positive change in their lives. Competencies are NOT personality traits, and therefore, they do not serve as identifiers. Rather, they are specific, tangible capacities that can be developed and/or enhanced through intentional teaching, modeling, and coaching.

In the real world, these competencies provide schools with an agreed-upon vocabulary that allows educators to identify and document student development, beyond standardized assessments and testing measures. Instead of labeling a student as "good" or "difficult," teachers may use competency-specific examples such as, "He is able to label his feelings but has difficulty recovering from conflict," or "She works independently well but struggles to ask for help before she becomes overwhelmed." The details of the specific competencies provide the basis for developing, using, and discussing SEL in instructional settings, intervention settings, and parent/teacher conferences.

Competencies are also developmental. What counts as “strong” self-management in 2nd grade looks different from self-management in 9th grade. Effective systems align expectations with age, context, and lived experience rather than applying a single standard across K–12.

This map provides a general overview of the development of social and emotional learning (SEL) at the state level, including policy and curriculum. The states with darker shading represent the 27 states that have developed freestanding K-12 SEL standards or competencies, which provide specific expectations at each grade level of what students will understand and demonstrate in social-emotional learning.

The lighter-colored states have not created standalone K-12 SEL standards, but most of these states continue to promote SEL by providing framework documents for early childhood, guidelines on integrating SEL into other areas (such as health, school climate, or Multi-Tiered System of Supports), or simply providing direction for supporting the implementation of SEL. For example, although a "standalone" SEL standards document may not exist, a state may develop student advisory programs, discipline codes, and/or programs focused on a whole-child approach.

According to the 2022 CASEL State Scan, 44 states provide some type of support to guide the implementation of SEL, and 27 states have developed K-12 SEL competencies. Therefore, this map demonstrates that SEL has moved beyond the fringe status of just a few districts and is becoming a policy priority that is influencing the types of expectations and supports that schools are developing to support their students.

The five core SEL competencies most frameworks include

These SEL domains provide the opportunity for students to think before acting, reflect before reacting, work together more effectively, and continue to learn when it becomes difficult. For leaders, SEL provides an opportunity to transition from "this student is a problem" to "this student has difficulty with some aspects of self-management and/or repair."

Developmental expectations: How SEL competencies grow across grade bands

The potential consequence of SEL competencies is that some students may be held accountable for expectations that don't match their developmentally appropriate level. For example, a kindergarten student may not be able to express his/her thoughts in the same type of language as a 10th grader when working on self-management. This table gives you a general sense of how expectations may vary across grade bands.

How educators see SEL competencies in their day-to-day work

SEL competencies are more than just theory for the majority of educators, who have already incorporated them as part of their daily work. Most of the challenges leaders see, then, are not that educators do not believe in SEL, but rather that educators need to be better prepared and supported to provide consistent teaching and learning in these social-emotional skills. There is a pattern with national surveys conducted over the last decade that clearly shows this. While teachers and principals mostly agree that students need to develop social/emotional skills in school, few report having a sufficient number of practical strategies, time, and/or resources to be able to incorporate these into their daily instructional routine.

The figures below summarize findings drawn from large-scale surveys of U.S. principals and teachers about SEL expectations and support. They highlight a common implementation gap: high commitment, uneven capacity.

For school leaders: making SEL competencies usable (not performative)

Competencies only improve outcomes when they are woven into systems in ways staff can actually carry. Long lists of indicators that never make it into lesson planning or coaching conversations will not change student experience. The most effective leaders treat SEL competencies as a shared backbone for how the school talks about student growth, adult practice, and support decisions.

Leadership moves that make competencies real

For teachers: How to plan with SEL Competencies

Classroom educators often hear “integrate SEL” as a demand to create a new curriculum on top of everything else. A more sustainable approach uses SEL competencies to adjust how existing lessons are taught, rather than adding an entirely separate block.

Below are simple planning levers teachers can use to embed competencies into routines they are already running.

These adjustments do not require a separate SEL lesson every day. They anchor existing instruction in the competencies that help students stay emotionally available for learning.

FAQ

Are SEL competencies the same as personality traits?

No. SEL Competency refers to skills or capacities that students can develop over time. Personality Traits refer to an individual's temperament and/or style. If educators view competency as fixed, like personality traits, then this will undermine student motivation and equity. On the other hand, if educators view competency as a skill, then students have a clear pathway to grow into these skills.

Do we need a separate SEL curriculum to teach competencies?

A dedicated SEL curriculum can help establish a common language and set routines. However, competencies are most powerful when they are demonstrated through both explicit lessons and daily instructional practices (i.e., group work, discussion protocols, conflict repair, etc.). A number of districts are using a blended model.

How should we communicate about SEL competencies with families?

Communication with families will be most effective when it is specific, non-technical, and focuses on how skills benefit learning and well-being. Rather than providing families with a list of abstract competency skills, provide them with short descriptions, examples of instructional strategies used in the classroom, and simple "at-home" routines that align with the same skills.

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